Is It Ok For Kids To Wear Makeup

The forenoon of my 7-yr-one-time daughter'due south dance recital, she was brimming with excitement, but information technology wasn't the sparkly costume or crowds of onlookers that excited her most. It was the face full of makeup.

I was instructed to requite her rosy cheeks, red lips and sparkly eyes, and she couldn't get enough, admiring her face at every angle in each mirror she passed.

The next morning, she came into my bathroom requesting makeup again.

"That was only for the recital," I said, adding that little girls don't need to article of clothing makeup. "You're beautiful exactly equally y'all are," I said.

Then I began painting a pocketbook full of cosmetics onto my face up.

When she left the bathroom I wondered when it's OK for a immature girl to start wearing makeup. Is it harmful to allow it sometimes? Does her request mean she doesn't experience pretty and am I being an awful role model?

To help me discover answers, I asked Dr. Tamar Kahane, a child and boyish psychologist who is founder and director of The Kahane Center, an integrated mental wellness practise in Englewood.

"The first step for parents is understanding where it's coming from," Kahane said, explaining a young girl may ask to vesture makeup for a number of reasons. "One of the ways in which a kid learns about their earth is through dressing up. They take on different roles through their play, and that's how they communicate."

Requesting makeup, she said, may not necessarily reflect a self-esteem effect.

"It could mean I want to look like or exist like Mommy," she said. "I run into Mommy puts on makeup so I want to put information technology on also."

Agreement why your child wants to article of clothing makeup and what information technology ways to her allows a parent to step in where it's meaningful to footstep in, she notes.

Kahane believes the emphasis on image in today's society makes parents wary when information technology comes to their child wearing makeup.

"In today's culture, there's a lot of pressure on girls in terms of how they look and how their body looks, and parents are often very concerned about all this force per unit area and what it's doing to their kid," she said. "And they don't want them sexualized, understandably, at a immature age."

However, she said, a child may ask to wear makeup for other reasons.

"Nosotros call up information technology's sexualized because that's where nosotros're at, but it'due south not necessarily where they're at. For them it could mean something very different."

In terms of handling your own kid's asking for makeup, Kahane recommends setting limits without existence extreme – and without judgment.

"I agree that little girls shouldn't be running around wearing makeup exterior the house," she said, "but I think we should first by understanding and acknowledging that they like to wear makeup and giving them a time and a place and a space to practice that."

Giving children an opportunity to try on a role within limits, such as wearing makeup occasionally inside the firm, ways they'll be less likely to need to practice that later, Kahane said.

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Notwithstanding, parents should think to nurture and encourage their child in other areas aside from looks.

"It's fine to tell your daughter she'south beautiful, but it shouldn't be the only thing y'all tell her," she said, suggesting that parents focus on their kid's difficult work, behavior and interests besides.

Kahane feels mothers often send mixed messages to their daughters, which may confuse them well-nigh the value of dazzler.

"On the one mitt we're taking them for manicures and pedicures and buying them pretty clothes, and giving them this bulletin that we desire them to wait beautiful, and then we're saying only don't vesture makeup," she said, "and that can be confusing for them as to what we're teaching."

She also points out that moms often annotate on their own looks in front end of their children, calling themselves fat or messy in their presence.

"I'yard not judging it, I'm just maxim we need to detect information technology," Kahane said. "Parents should exist mindful of the fact that sometimes we inadvertently encourage things that we don't even realize we're encouraging."

When information technology comes to when it's advisable for your kid to wear makeup outside of the business firm, Kahane said in that location'due south no correct age for any i child.

"Historic period is chronological, only there's also emotional historic period and social historic period," she explained, "and sometimes there's a disconnect between where a kid is chronologically, and where they are physically and emotionally."

Therefore, she said, a child can expect like they're 15, act like they're 9 and really exist 12, which is confusing to both the parents and the kid in terms of how to deport and what to expect from them. "They don't know who they are and what they are, and they're trying to effigy it out," she said.

When deciding what's all-time for your child, Kahane advises that parents trust their gut.

"I'thousand a big laic in the intuition of moms, and that moms know more than they remember they know," she said. "It's really near noticing what your own child is up for and what they're emotionally ready for."

Kahane notes that parents can besides consult a professional person with these concerns.

I was relieved after speaking with Kahane because I always had mom-guilt when telling my girl she could only try my cosmetics twice a year. I retrieve how much I loved playing with my mom's makeup when I was little, and I knew my daughter would love playing with mine.

Then the next time she asks, I'll be certain to discuss why she wants to wearable makeup and remind my little girl that a smile is the best makeup she tin wear. And so I'll allow her parade around the house with that smile painted red.

Contact Jackie Goldschneider at minivanmusings@gmail.com.

Source: https://www.northjersey.com/story/life/columnists/2018/09/13/little-girls-wear-makeup-parenting/1254158002/

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